Are you in a new relationship and looking to take it to the next level? Or maybe you’re trying your best with a potential partner without quite managing to deepen your connection. Either way, having fun and meaningful conversations is essential for building intimacy, whether a new romance or an attempt to deepen a potentially serious relationship.
One great way to do this is by asking each other questions that can inspire interesting dialogue and get you both opening up on topics that are important to you. It helps build a healthy relationship as the conversation sheds light on your partner’s perspective on the future.
With that in mind, I’ve compiled a list of 21 questions for a new relationship addressing key topics like future goals, sexual health, family dynamics, and love languages. Still, these new relationship questions force you to take your energy to a deeper level with your favorite person.
From fun icebreakers about family traditions to deep questions about values and beliefs, these 21 questions for a new relationship will work as conversation starters and bring the joy of intimacy into your bond to help create an even deeper connection between you two. It may unite you by helping you discover you share common interests or by allowing you to learn about any potential deal breakers early on.
What Questions Do You Ask To a New Relationship?
In this section, I have combined the 21 questions for a new relationship in no particular order. I have also added a section explaining how to ask these 21 questions for a new relationship.
So let’s dive into our list.
What’s the biggest thing you learned from your last relationship?
Starting with this key question helps both partners understand each other’s past experiences and how those have shaped them into who they are now.
Additionally, it gives insight into how the person views relationships overall. Asking this question allows for meaningful conversations that set a strong foundation for future intimacy. Your partner’s answer should also steer you away from things that tick them off, which is the first step in forming healthy relationships.
You want to know their past lessons in order to understand their needs and what to avoid.
Describe my three qualities that are attractive to you.
One question that inspires a fun conversation is asking each other about things that evoke a feeling of safety in a serious relationship. Among all the relationship questions, it becomes a great way to open up dialogue about what both of you appreciate and admire.
Furthermore, this question can help create an understanding of what traits both partners value in each other and can lead to more intimate conversations surrounding those topics. An honest answer lets you be confident about your features and traits.
If you want to turn this question into an interesting conversation, you can ask what sexual qualities your significant other find attractive and what you would like them to do more or less. Remember, whenever you are delving into this territory, lay the ground rules before so you don’t make each other uncomfortable.
This ensures you spend quality time together, not as friends but as romantic partners, without discomfort.
Can you define cheating in a relationship?
Asking your new significant other how they define cheating can positively affect the intimacy of the relationship. This question allows both partners to be open and honest about what is acceptable behavior and what’s not. It can create a stronger bond between them by helping each partner understand their partner’s boundaries and expectations.
Discussing what does and does not constitute cheating can help both partners feel secure. It also allows for a healthy balance in a growth-oriented relationship.
Do you believe in second chances?
Similar to the previous question, this one promotes open, honest communication in a new relationship. Through this discussion, both partners can better understand how this partner treats grave mistakes. Do they work on forgiveness, or will they tend to be mean and unforgiving?
If you are on the same page about the previous two questions, then it’s likely that your bond can grow into a serious relationship.
What does your perfect date look like?
The outcome of the intimacy of a relationship, when you ask your new significant other about their perfect date, could be profound. Not only does it show that you are interested in getting to know them deeper and more intimately, but it also can reveal things about each partner’s values, interests, and how they view romance overall.
This also allows you to plan a romantic evening that tries to live up to this perfect date for your new partner and any special occasions in this new relationship.
Out of all our date nights, which one did you enjoy the most?
As a follow-up to the previous question, you can ask this to show how far you have come in their mind and how far you have to go in terms of dates. It also tells you how much effort you have to put in and her expectations of you in terms of setting up romantic evenings for them.
Do you think it’s important to keep secrets in a relationship?
Adding to the list of intimate relationship questions above, talking about this topic in a new relationship can help both partners gauge how trustworthy they will be. It allows them to discuss potential secrets and how they should handle them if the situation arises.
More importantly, it tells you if your partner is even open to taking on secrets or if they want to separate your family and private lives. One secret can destroy a relationship, so it’s better to ask this question.
What are some of the things that make you feel loved and appreciated?
This question encourages both partners to open up about their needs, preferences, and feelings for each other – which can be incredibly beneficial in creating a loving bond.
As a significant other, it gives you all the necessary tools to make your partner feel loved. If your love language differs from your partner’s (both of you show love differently), this question bridges that gap.
Are there any topics that you don’t feel comfortable discussing with me?
The consequence of this question can be twofold. It can create a sense of safety and security in the relationship by allowing both partners to express topics they may not feel comfortable discussing with their families.
It ensures that neither of you will bring up any uncomfortable subjects and adds to an atmosphere where both people can trust each other and feel secure.
On the other hand, you might also learn what your partner is passionate about and any subject they are more than willing to discuss with you. However, I must add that initially, avoiding uncomfortable topics might be the way to go, but to form a committed relationship, partners usually need to have difficult conversations about uncomfortable pasts.
If you could pick one superpower, what would it be and why?
In a new relationship, such questions allow both partners to tap into their creative side and open up about each other in new ways. It encourages imagination and helps both partners express themselves more freely. This can lead to interesting conversations about fictional interests, passions, and childhood memories.
What’s something you are afraid of or were in your childhood?
This question can help create an understanding of each partner’s fears and worries, which can be a powerful emotional connection in any relationship.
Talking about such intimate topics with your significant other will help strengthen the bond between you both and create an atmosphere of openness and security in your new relationship. With this newfound understanding, both partners can gain empathy and support from one another during challenging times.
What do you want to try that frightens you?
This question creates an atmosphere of security and openness, allowing both partners to express their fears, worries, and dreams in a supportive environment.
Making yourself vulnerable and creating a nonjudgmental environment allows for an honest answer to the person with this question.
If you are having a relatively flirty conversation, you can also ask this question about your partner’s sex life. This fun question lets you learn more about your partner’s beliefs, past partners, and previous romantic relationships.
What’s the best childhood memory you have?
This question helps to increase intimacy in a new relationship by allowing both partners to open up and share their childhood memories.
Additionally, it allows both partners to gain insight into how their partner views the world and experiences life personally, which can bring them closer together.
Finally, sharing details of happy memories from childhood can help promote positive emotions like joy and happiness that can strengthen the bond in a new relationship.
What’s your most coveted or favorite music album?
Asking this creates an environment of openness which enables them to connect on a deeper level and talk about a favorite memory usually associated with the music and the album. This can also lead to interesting conversations that involve discussing different genres of music, favorite songs, preferred music artists, and even singing along together.
How can we potentially handle arguments or disagreements between us?
Knowing how to handle conflict is also a good way to set the groundwork for a committed relationship. It is important to understand how your partner manages disagreements and whether they feel comfortable discussing them. If so, it can help you better understand each other’s emotions by respectfully expressing them instead of resorting to shouting or name-calling.
It also helps to establish boundaries in the relationship, knowing how far the argument should go and at what point a compromise should be reached. This question is not just for your partner but should be for most relationships your form in life.
What is one turn-off for you in bed?
This is an interesting one that can create different intimacy between partners. It allows both partners to express their desires and limits regarding sex and intimacy in the bedroom. It can build trust and understanding between you, which helps make for a healthier relationship overall.
It also shows that you are open to discussing such topics and willing to work on things the other partner does not appreciate. It is fun to talk about if you get bored from asking basic questions about their extended family life, spiritual beliefs, or what they will do with a million dollars!
What historical event would you have liked to be present for?
This question is a fun and light-hearted way to get to know each other better. Asking your partner what historical event they would have liked to be present for can tell you how much of an interest they have in history and their outlook on life.
It also provides the opportunity to talk about different places worldwide, relieving any stress building up since you met.
What, in your opinion, is your greatest talent?
We all know that we have hidden talents; sharing these can be a great way to connect intimately. Asking about your partner’s greatest talent allows you to talk and bond over what they are most proud of.
Talking about such topics also gives your partner a sense of being appreciated and admired, which is essential for any new or established relationship.
What personality trait ticks you off?
Asking your partner what personality trait ticks them off helps you learn more about their core values and understand how they handle different situations. It also encourages open communication between the two of you so that you both can come to a mutual understanding of certain topics in life.
What would you do if you only had a month to live in those days?
This question-and-answer part is a great way to learn more about each other’s ambitions, goals, and dreams. It can also be incredibly revealing as it allows you to see the most important thing to your partner in life and can help bring out their true personality.
Finally, it lets you talk about big ideas without fear or judgment.
What makes us a good couple?
Asking this question is a great way to create an atmosphere of love and understanding between you. It also helps both partners reflect on what makes the relationship special and how each person contributes to it differently.
Finally, it allows for a safe conversation about positive emotions like appreciation, admiration, and affection while building intimacy.
How Do You Play 21 Questions With a Couple?
This classic game of 21 questions for a new relationship is a great way to get to know each other and develop intimacy in a new relationship. To play, both partners take turns asking each other different questions related to their past experiences, hopes for the future, and anything else they may be curious about.
These intimate relationship questions don’t have to be done in one sitting since this is quite a comprehensive list.
The key here is to keep it open-ended so both parties can feel comfortable and let the conversation flow.
Ultimately, the 21 questions for a new relationship can help both partners create a special, loving, intimate bond. This relationship can grow with time; however, it also allows you to see any red flags early on so that you are not left hurting after investing a lot of time.