A long-distance relationship can bring many intense and remarkable moments, and the anticipation of meeting your significant other can enhance those moments even more.
Often, the excitement towards a person is equivalent to the tension of the moment you’re sharing.
Love from a distance is not necessarily a deal-breaker on building a connection and committing to it. And that is especially when you feel that you finally found someone worth keeping.
Butterflies are flying here and there when you think about that person, and finally, someone gets you.
It doesn’t happen ofter. You both want to try to make this work, but life is life, and distance can be painful.
Starting a long-distance relationship can be triggering for many.
No matter the promises you’ve made to each other, you keep wondering whether your relationship will survive. Most of your close friends and family may discourage you from investing in that person.
So it’s normal to find yourself hesitant and full of second thoughts.
You might be thinking: Is a long-distance relationship worth it?
Nobody says it will be easy — the miles apart and the time-zone difference makes everything more complicated. The long-distance relationship problems can be even more challenging than the typical issues that an average couple might encounter.
I’ve met amazing people worldwide during my travels, simultaneously knowing that chances are we won’t meet again. I caught myself wondering whether there could be a chance between us being in the same city or country.
However, I had quite a fair portion of long-distance boyfriends.
I always thought that we could make this work, as relationships are malleable anyway. And if it worked, we could also transform it into something incredible – a special bond made by equal effort.
So, what are those long-distance relationship ideas that you can try if your goal is to make it work?
Make sure that no matter the distance, you have a common direction.
The common direction will determine the roots of what you’re trying to grow and build. The mutual approach in the long-term is a fundamental step for all relationships, but particularly in the long-distance ones, it plays a vital role.
It instills the feeling of security and reassurance on both sides. If you can count together the days for your next meeting, long trip, or fun weekend, you have both something to anticipate, which cultivates the bond and the excitement.
Suppose you let the days pass without actually knowing where you’re meeting again or having a shared plan. In that case, the separate every day realities may transform the incredible bond you have into something fuzzy.
Always prioritize where your next physical meeting will occur, even if you cannot know precisely when or even if your next date is in months.
I know couples separated for almost a year because of COVID and closed borders. However, the likelihood of a prospect meeting date kept the excitement up.
If you are both aligned with the idea of being together, eventually, you will be.
You have to discuss openly and often that you’re on the same page, despite the miles. If you are unsure or sensing that your loved one is having doubts, it’s wise to initiate an honest discussion about where things are heading.
Schedule some time for meaningful conversation during the day, but don’t overdo it with the texts and calls.
Each person has a different communication style. The best thing you can do for your partner while being away is to understand when and how she wishes to communicate. Make some compromises, and don’t expect to find a pace immediately.
I’m not a phone or video call person. Being on the phone or zoom requires my full attention, and I prefer having small talk via texts rather than phone.
I have been with partners who chose video and phone over texting even when they had nothing meaningful to say to me, which drew time from other priorities I had during the day.
My respect for their need to talk and see me usually led to my annoyance, but it wasn’t my partner’s fault. I realized I preferred giving one hour of my full attention two times a week for a video chat rather than giving and getting random calls during the day.
By communicating that to my partner, we both agreed to a convenient time of the day where we would be full-on there like we would normally do if we had a date.
Of course, some random cute texts that you might send during the day might remain unreciprocated, and there might be calls you’ll receive that will also remain unanswered. That’s life, different time-zones, and full-fledged schedules.
Still, it’s a great thing to have patience, respect each other’s space and understand that not all the times are the same to reach your partner.
Face the distance as an opportunity to strengthen your bond.
Most long-distance couples face the miles as an obstacle and cannot distinguish the other side of that coin. They can’t see anything right about being away from their partners, and they keep blaming any petty problem that might occur on the apparent challenge; the distance.
But believe me, when I say, a long-distance romance can be a wonderful thing. It creates a sense of mutual trust and commitment early on in the relationship and gives the potential for deeper interactions when you meet. The anticipation for your next meeting lights you up with joy and enhance your connection.
There’s also more space for detachment, self-exploration, and separate growth; you learn how to ignore your possessive tendencies and appreciate the efforts that you both put into cultivating something healthy.
Don’t forget the butterflies and the delight when you kiss or feel the person you love after a month of not seeing each other.
Allow yourself to feel the pleasure of the certainty that you both are when you need to be, both aligned in the same direction. You both choose to be each other’s destination in the end.
Be creative with the way you’re showing your love from a distance.
Pictures, audio clips, anything random that reminded you of him during the day, anything that can bring the other person closer despite the miles, is a great way to interact.
It’s essential to know your partner’s love language (how he/she interprets love).
If, for example, your partner’s love language is quality time, send a picture of a random activity you engage in. Seeing your picture, she knows you’re thinking of her. She’s feeling a part of your day.
If it is physical touch, a picture of yourself can work well. If he is a gift receiver, make a surprise and send something symbolic out of the blue.
It’s essential to be creative in your interactions. Never give up exploring how you can tell and show your love from miles away.
Do fun things together, even if you’re apart.
By that point, you might be wondering, what exactly are the fun things to do in a long-distance relationship?
Have you ever tried a zoom date, besides a zoom meeting? If not, maybe it’s time. COVID introduced us to a whole new reality, where people had to celebrate birthdays isolated at home with drinking sessions on Zoom.
So a Zoom date with your long-distance partner can be a great idea. The secret sauce is to treat it like an actual date. You both have to wear your best outfit, light candles, and get some wine. You can either have a relaxed discussion or play a game to bring you closer, such as the 36 love questions.
Another thing you can do is to watch a series together on Netflix party, play a game online or even daydream and plan your next trip to an ideal destination (even if it’s long term). No matter what you’ll decide to do, you’ll do it together, and you’ll both enjoy it.
Always remember that a long-distance relationship, like every relationship, is a choice that will need your mutual cultivation and support. You can’t expect everything to flow naturally and smoothly if you don’t actively work on it.
It’s also useful to know when to let go of a long-distance relationship. If your expectations and efforts outweigh your partner’s or vice versa, you should get some time to reconsider your intentions. To sum up, here are the 5 ways you can make a long-distance relationship great:
- Make sure you have a common direction.
- Schedule some time for meaningful conversation during the day, but don’t overdo it
- Face the distance as an opportunity to strengthen your bond
- Be creative with the way you’re showing love from a distance.
- Do fun things together, even if you’re apart